Sometimes it seems almost impossible to stay positive in a Long Distance Relationship. Yeah, it can feel like the most difficult thing ever! Everything seems to suck, nothing seems to work out as you want it to be, the long waiting drives you nuts and it might even seem like a total hopeless situation at the moment.
You long for a hug, a kiss, a little touch — you lust for that cozy get-together on this rainy day, that romantic dinner date tonight, that fun Sunday hike… Whatever it is, you really wish for time together as a couple with no distance between you!
Not being able to see your partner in person can compound the negativity you’re already surrounding yourself in. Furthermore, you focusing on all these negative things can bring your partner down as well. The result? Both of you are unhappy and dissatisfied. Which could eventually lead you into pointless wranglings and arguments. But how do you keep the positivity up in a LDR?
Unfortunately, I don’t have a wonder cure for that. I can only speak for myself and my experiences, but I hope my advice might help or inspire you to keep your head up! It is important to find your own positivity in this allegedly forlorn situation you find yourself in. First, you have to stop focusing on the negative things! This is good practice in general as this works well for all complicated situations in life.
I prepared a checklist with positive tips and things about being in a LDR:
Focus on Yourself!
Being away from your partner is not all bad news! You have time for your family and friends, so enjoy it!
Take care of yourself with a Wellness Day or go out for a hiking tour! You have time to realize your interests, dreams, hobbies and career. Use the opportunity of “alone time” and pursue a personal hobby or goal!
As a couple you can support each other in these things and celebrate success with your partner. By taking care of yourself, you’ll inject positivity and peace right back into your relationship. Share and embrace this happiness together.
Get Excited by Novelty
There are always new things to experience, especially in a LDR. When you visit your partner after weeks, months or even years of not seeing each other it is always a thrilling feeling! One of you likely has to journey to a new destination and when you finally see each other it is like falling in love all over again. Despite the welcome distractions, it can be thrilling and novel to learn about each other’s cultures and the areas you come from. Try something new and use your creativity!
Enhance Your Creativity
Dating in a LDR becomes more complicated, since you don’t have the usual “face-to-face”. You have to be more creative about it! Enjoy finding ways to have dates and enjoy them with all your heart. I already talked about it here.
Surround Yourself with Positive People
It is no news that negative people are toxic for you, but this is especially important in a LDR. Each person has their own opinion of things and oftentimes others think your relationship is not the “real” deal. They are convinced that you are doomed to fail and many want to let you know. They may even try to convince you to get out of this relationship. Whether their intentions come from a loving place or not, it can be depressing to hear things like that.
Surround yourself with people that are positive about your love life! People that support and encourage your relationship.
If a stranger comes to you and thinks they can judge your way of living and LDR lifestyle, you should ditch them right away. Go dance like no one is watching and have fun with your friends!
See it as an Opportunity
It is an opportunity to grow stronger, as a person and as a couple. You’re an amazing team! See this situation as a test that makes you grow together – not apart! Really believe that through this experience, you will end up being bound together stronger than ever before.
When in a doubtful or pessimistic moment ask yourself:
„Which of these non-LDR couples, with all their advice for me, would really survive what I’m going through?“
„Who would do what I currently do for their loved one and keep going?“
A lot of people couldn’t or wouldn’t do what you’re accomplishing every day – as a person and as a team. So be proud of that! If you can handle this, you can handle anything!
Last but not least, it’s also okay if you realise that Long Distance isn’t for you. Despite everything positive, it is a lot of pressure and stress. For some, constantly fighting and working hard for a relationship is simply not the right thing. That’s okay as well!
With globalisation, the Internet and more technological advances it’ll get easier and easier to survive as a Long Distance Couple. Moreover research even suggests that Long Distance Relationships are of equal or even more trust and satisfaction than non-LDR couples.
Remember to stay positive! If you have struggles or questions, about how to make a LDR generally work or how to deal with jealousy, you should check out my other blog entries which twirl around this topic!
Let me know how you stay positive in a LDR or why you think it’s hard for you to keep the positivity up.
I hope you are all healthy and safe.
Until next Sunday – Farewell!